Lorraine Pascale has reinvented herself again - as a champion for women over 40

The mental freedom you get in mid-life is amazing what changes at the halfway point is that you stop giving such a s***, Lorraine Pascale says triumphantly. You still have empathy and sympathy, but youre really focusing on yourself and doing whats important for you.

The mental freedom you get in mid-life is amazing — what changes at the halfway point is that you stop giving such a s***,’ Lorraine Pascale says triumphantly. ‘You still have empathy and sympathy, but you’re really focusing on yourself and doing what’s important for you.’ 

And it’s not just a platitude — this beautiful well-spoken, boarding school-educated, black single mother from the Cotswolds is the mistress of re-invention, with more career changes under her belt than Elizabeth Taylor had husbands. 

Having planned to be a policewoman because of her height (5ft 10in), at 16, Lorraine discovered another job perfect for tall girls — international modelling. For the next decade, she worked for Versace, Chanel and Donna Karan, becoming the first black British woman to appear on the cover of American Elle, as well as appearing in the ultraprestigious Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue and being photographed with Kate Moss for The Face. 

When work started to dry up a decade later, she tried out everything from being a photographer’s assistant, studying interior design, then hypnotherapy with Paul McKenna, taking a secretarial course and working as an apprentice in a Skoda garage (seriously!). 

Lorraine Pascale planned to become a policewoman because of her height until she discovered international modelling at the age of 16. So now after having gained an MSc in psychology during lockdown, she¿s soon to launch a new Gen X lifestyle blog for the over-40s ¿ and is studying for a PhD

Lorraine Pascale planned to become a policewoman because of her height until she discovered international modelling at the age of 16. So now after having gained an MSc in psychology during lockdown, she’s soon to launch a new Gen X lifestyle blog for the over-40s — and is studying for a PhD

Eventually she found her unlikely groove in frumpy (this was pre-Bake Off), carb-heavy baking. She sold vats of cookbooks and hosted three television series, broadcast in 60 countries. 

But now, aged 50, Lorraine bridles at the ‘b’ word. ‘I’m so much more than just a baker, I cook so much more than that. I don’t want to have, “She was a baker” [as my obituary]. I wanted to make changes to the world.’ 

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So, having gained an MSc in psychology during lockdown, she’s soon to launch a new Gen X lifestyle blog for the over-40s — and is also studying for a PhD. The subject of her dissertation? Midlife Women And Mattering.

Mattering is really poignant,’ says Lorraine. ‘These woman often feel they’re invisible. 

‘They feel they’re not significant at work or at home.’ 

But now, aged 50 , Lorraine bridles at the ¿b¿ word. ¿I¿m so much more than just a baker, I cook so much more than that. I don¿t want to have, ¿She was a baker¿ [as my obituary]. I wanted to make changes to the world.¿

But now, aged 50 , Lorraine bridles at the ‘b’ word. ‘I’m so much more than just a baker, I cook so much more than that. I don’t want to have, “She was a baker” [as my obituary]. I wanted to make changes to the world.’

It’s hard to imagine Lorraine herself feeling insignificant. Sitting at her desk, in a plain black polo neck, she’s stunning, with her huge mop of curls and trademark gap-tooth smile and booming laugh like a drain unblocking. 

If Lorraine’s living an unapologetically fabulous life now, it’s a reaction to an extraordinarily tough childhood. Born at a home for unmarried mothers in Hackney, East London, she was taken into care at birth. At 18 months she was adopted by white parents, Roger and Audrey, and brought up in leafy Oxfordshire. 

They divorced when she was three, after which Audrey began drinking heavily and became physically violent — as an adult, Lorraine was to see social worker documents saying her adoptive mother had tried to strangle and suffocate her. 

Aged eight, Lorraine was removed and sent to a series of foster parents for a year before it was deemed safe for her to return to Audrey. Despite this trauma, Lorraine was devoted to her mother and devastated when she died in 2015. Today, she’s a fostering advocate. 

‘I’ve felt invisible,’ she says. ‘I’ve felt unimportant and insignificant. I’m very tired of having to make myself feel like I matter. Now I’d like to give a voice to the voiceless. 

5 things I wish I’d known when I was younger 

  • If you start dating someone and, after acouple of months, they start behaving negatively towards you — get out. That’s their real self. The beginning was just a mask. 
  • Don’t resist change because it feels uncomfortable. Change is uncomfortable. But it’s less challenging than the pain of regret and endless procrastination. 
  • People pleasing and being overaccommodating sound heroic — but they’re actually a sign that you are valuing others’ wellbeing over your own. 
  • Being ‘too old’ for things is a lie you are telling yourself. If you want to do something, then go and do it. So what if you’re the oldest person in the room? 
  •  Mistakes are part of life, learn from them and forgive yourself. Self-compassion is your biggest weapon against shame and self-­criticism. Reassure yourself liberally, daily 
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    ‘You can have these conditions of worth from childhood: if you behave a certain way you get praised and get attention, but if you behave another way, you don’t. It’s very difficult, but maturing is about shedding those conditions and finding your own internal worth. 

    ‘You don’t need to behave in a certain way. You behave in a way that’s right for you. It took me a long time to be able to do that, and it’s still a work in progress. I’ve done a lot of therapy.’ 

    On her Instagram, where Lorraine defines her mission as ‘helping midlife women feel their best’, she’s big on telling her 260,000 followers to ‘put up with less s***’. 

    Lorraine was just 22 when she married Polish jazz musician Count Kaz Balinski-Jundzill; they divorced six years later (he’s now married to model Sophie Anderton). 

    Their daughter Ella Balinska, 26, is an actress who’s currently taking Hollywood by storm, having recently starred in the Charlie’s Angels film and Netflix’s popular series Resident Evil. Dressed in a blue tuxedo, it was Ella who gave Lorraine away at her second wedding, last summer, to businessman Dennis O’Brien. 

    The couple met four years ago when he complimented her on her nifty parking at the gym (‘I love a good park,’ Lorraine giggles), and she has little time for friends complaining they’ll never meet a man in their 40s and 50s. 

    ‘What’s the problem? It’s not like you’re the only one getting older. These men want to go out with people our age as well. OK, some want to go out with younger women but nothing’s actually changed.’ 

    During her wedding service at Chelsea Register Office, Lorraine ‘wasn’t crying but I was really emotional’. Covid meant they could only invite 30 guests, so they held a second party later. Sounds fun. ‘Hmm. I’m an introvert so...’ She shakes her head. 

    For that reason, Lorraine kept celebrations for her 50th small, just her and Dennis on a beach, sipping cocktails.

    Her next goal, alongside giving midlife women a confidence boost? ­Educating kids about healthy relationships. 

    ‘There’s a lot of stuff you learn as an adult through pain and heartache,’ she exclaims. 

    ‘Imagine if someone had just told you it all when you were 11: “When you meet a partner, these are red flags to look out for, these are called boundaries. Think of a lovely garden. Make sure it has fence all the way round so that you don’t let all the dogs in the neighbourhood come and live in it.” 

    ‘You’d be like “OK” and then you’d go off and do your TikTok.’ She laughs uproariously. 

    I suspect wherever she goes next, we’re going to see several more incarnations of Lorraine Pascale. 

    Lorraine has partnered with Acuvue to champion multifocal lenses: acuvue.co.uk 

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